You Do Want “Bodacious” Romance Don’t You?

(For those who don’t know what Bodacious means it is: Excellent, admirable, audacious in a way considered admirable, impressive and remarkable.)

Now that’s what I’m talking about! You can find some things you will want to avoid and how to be Bodacious instead below.

These are 3 Deadly Mistakes….

Mistake #1 -Forgetting to give genuine, sincere compliments. If you take your partner for granted instead of noticing the wonderful things about them, big and small, they will more likely be attracted to someone who does make them feel good about themselves.

Bodacious Action: Try everyday for one week to give a sincere compliment or comment of appreciation to your romantic partner. Example- You might try something like: “When you mowed the lawn for me, I felt so happy, because I was exhausted from work today. Thanks.” Or “Baby, when you when you, washed my car for me in those shorts, I felt like the luckiest guy on the block. It was a lot of fun to watch!” Thanks!

* Warning:” See Mistake #2. Do not try this at home”. This is No Bueno! 

Mistake #2– Directing uncontrolled anger at your partner. Ongoing anger (or one hellish blow-up) is a surefire way to kill feelings of love and romance. We all have bad days, and times when we are overwhelmed, tired and frustrated. These are the times when we are all vulnerable to behaving in an aggressive way to our partner. If your partner is feeling” all of the above”, don’t move in for the kill with a lot of demands, or criticism.

Bodacious Action #1: Take Time-Outs. When you are feeling angry let your partner know that you are angry and that you want to take a ”time-out” to go cool down and collect your thoughts. If you’re really feeling hotheaded a simple “time-out” (think sports “T” hand signal) can clue your partner that Mt. Vesuvius is about to erupt. Partners must learn to let the other take the time out.

Time outs avoid an incident that could take too much time doing damage control. (This leaves less time for romance right?)

Bodacious Action #2: Get Back In The Game. The rule of this “Time-Out Call” is that you have to engage with each other after the time out.  After you cool down, make sure to go back and talk over the situation and circumstances that led up to the angry meltdown. If you don’t address the underlying issues, the river of anger will over-spill the banks again( and may drown those in the way.)

 

Mistake #3– Not letting your partner have “me time”. If you don’t let your partner have some alone time the relationship may become stifling and your partner may pull away altogether. When we get in a romantic relationship, especially in the beginning, we are more invested in pleasing our partner. (This can be a good thing, but it depends on how far you take it.) It is important to remember that your partner had a life before you met. They still need to do the things that are expressions of who they are as an individual.

Bodacious Action: Slip a note or coupon in your partner’s purse or wallet that says, “Good for 1 full day of “me time”. See you when you get back for some Bodacious “We Time.”

 

Bodacious Observation: On a camping trip for my “me time” I noticed that to make a nice hot fire, the logs can’t be too close together. You have to give them some space to get the fire really hot.

“Our romantic relationships are like a fire, give each other some space occasionally and the fire will burn hotter and longer.”—Phoenix Alexander

For A Special Report “Creating Bodacious Romance” with more Bodacious Actions you can take see the page on Special Reports.

Send your email to mynameisphoenix2@yahoo.com and put in the title “Send me your Bodacious Romance Ezine”.